ᴱQ. Oilima Markirya (Intermediate Version)
This is the seventh draft of the Oilima Markirya poem (OM1g). As noted in the entry for that poem, this draft seems to be a bridge between the first version of the poem and the version presented with Tolkien’s “A Secret Vice” essay. It is sufficiently different from the other versions that I am discussing it in its own entry.
The Qenya text presented here is from PE16/77, but most of the couplets have been combined to produce more complete phrases. The original poem used an unusual, Finnish-like orthography for the Qenya; I've normalized back to more ordinary Qenya spelling (the originals appear in the discussion of the individual phrases). The translations are my own, which I cherry-picked from the various English translations of the poem based on what seems to fit best. My analysis largely follows that of the editors of the Early Qenya Poetry article: Gilson, Welden, and Hostetter (PE16/77-80).
Elements
máno kiluvando ninqe lutya kirya wilwarindon | “*who shall see a white ship sailing like a butterfly” |
laivarisse lúnelinqe talalínen tinwelindon? | “*in the blue-flowing sea with sails like stars?” |
vean san falastuváre alkalótefalmarínen | “*the sea then will surge with waves like shining blossoms” |
ar i·kiryo kaluváre talain kulukalmalínen | “*and the sails of the ship will shine with golden lights” |
ar i·súru laustuváro lintataurelasselindon | “*and the wind will roar like many forest leaves” |
ondoin mórin ninkuváron, núni silmerána tindon | “*the dark rocks will shine white, shining under the gleaming-moon” |
kaivon nyúken i·sapsanta silmerána númetár | “*the gleaming-moon goes down like a corpse into the grave” |
hísimandulómi anta móri rauqi n·Ambalár | “*the black mist-clouds of hell come rushing from the East” |
taitelúmen san tollanta ranka naiko lunganár | “*the firmament then leans sickly on broken hill[s]” |
ma kaire laiqen ondolissen kirya maita? | “*does a ship lie maimed on green rocks?” |
karnevaite úri kilivande hísen nie nie nienaite | “*red-skied the sun will gaze through a haze of tears” |
ailinissen oilimaisen | “*on the last shores” |
ala hui oilimaite | “*before the last night” |
ala hui oilimaite² | “*before the last night” |
alkarissen oilimain² | “*in the last rays of light” |
ala hui oilimaite³ | “*before the last night” |
ailinissen alkarain | “*upon the shining shore” |